Beginning..no, Continuing

I just finished browsing a few blogs created by women trying to lose weight. I had been excited until I discovered they posted eight times, max. I had been hoping to draw inspiration from them, but only found a mirror of myself. Not one of them had kept the focus to continue working towards better health. I think posting in a blog helps to keep that goal in your sight. If you don't post in the blog, then it is easier to fool yourself into thinking you don't need to work harder .. you don't need to consider what you're eating .. you don't need to consider if you'll go to the gym or not.

So, I was going to title this entry beginning, but its not really beginning. I've been working at this actively for 8 years now. I weight exactly the same as when I started. I've been higher, and I've been lower.. but at this point, I'm at ground zero. And just so we're clear, that is around 255 lbs. I am putting that out there so that if someone comes across this blog they can either relate to me or not. Nothing irks me more than getting into someone's story about weight loss and then finding out their goal is to lose a whopping 10 lbs. I'm not belittling their efforts, but they really have no idea what someone with as much to lose as myself really battles with.

My husband has extreme and utter faith in my ability to conquer this. He says I'm amazing. How Blessed I am to have him.

I am certain this blog (I keep typing blob and then fixing it) will turn into a frequent account of what I've eaten on a particular day or maybe excuses of why I didn't work out or why I chose to eat a certain thing. As I get older I am beginning to get to the point where I hear my own excuses and realize just how stupid they sound.

I haven't decided if I will join some support group or not. I think the main thing I need to sort out is my own internal dialogue, and it is my goal that this blog will help to lay that out and help me see what I can change. That will be a major key (Yes, I've read Dr. Phil's book) for me. Most of the keys are easy for me if I choose to follow them, but the internal dialogue I have with myself is consistently negative.

I've titled this blog "Losing Myself" because that is what I will be doing. In the process I will find Frances.